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10 Steps To Better Persuasion
by Allen Parks
1. Develop pacing naturally.
When you first learn how to pace, it can sound very stiff and robotic. But pacing can become a very natural part of you. Just feed them back their statement with a question. It is important to remember not to paraphrase, but to use the same words the person you are talking to is using. If they say, "I went to such and such movie last weekend", you can respond by asking, "Oh, you went to a movie last weekend?" Covert hypnosis is about allowing all of these complex methods to flow unconsciously. The more questions you ask using their own language, the faster you will build rapport.
2. Keep your attention external.
You are trying to persuade another person which means you want to observe their actions. That means you should pay no attention to your own thoughts. Each time you go inside yourself and ask yourself a question about the situation, you are no longer watching them and you may miss what is really going on. Simply watch their facial expressions, body language, and listen to the types of words they use without thinking about what technique you should be applying based on their actions. Your response should be unconscious and come about naturally. This is the secret of the real covert hypnosis masters.
3. Write 100 examples of a new language pattern.
If you have to think about a language pattern in order to use it, then its effectiveness has been severely diminished. Language patterns should be expressed unconsciously and naturally. This can be done by writing out 100 examples of a newly learned language pattern. Then go out and slip into every conversation as many times as you can. Do it so often that you become bored with it. Then move onto learning a new pattern. But remember covert hypnosis is not about learning patterns. Without the right emotional state, body language, tonality, and rapport you will most likely be perceived as a strange talking weirdo!
4. Learn their yes and no positions.
Everyone has a direction the move towards when they say yes and no. They will tend to nod in that direction, and they may even turn their body slightly or even to a large degree in that direction. Learn their yes and no positions and gesture in those directions accordingly depending on your objective. If you want them to perceive something in the negative then anchor that thing in their "no" position. If you want them to perceive something in the positive then anchor that thing in their yes position. Good salespeople use their hands often placing their product into their client's "yes" space and their competition into their client's "no" space.
5. Learn 3 minute stories.
Telling stories is one of the most powerful ways to persuade someone. Our brains are wired for metaphor. We experience reality through concepts and not directly. Learning to tell short stories with a covert message in under three minutes will increase your persuasions skills exponentially. Practice a story many times in the mirror using different tonality and body language. Express the emotion outwardly that a words represents. Tell these stories to as many friends and family members as possibly. Then begin telling your stories to strangers.
6. Learn their representational systems.
People's representational systems are predominantly visual, auditory, or kinesthetic (VAK). I can see the bright blue ocean, I can hear the crashing of the waves, or I can feel the warm sun on my skin and the sand beneath my toes. Some so-called experts like to give percentages, but this is just a model and every person is different. Speak to others from their own unique perception of the world. What types of sensory vocabulary do they respond more to? It is possible for someone to have a predominant visual rep system, but also respond favorably to sound words. Each person is unique. Find out why!
7. Anchor yourself and others.
Many NLP practitioners learn to anchor the emotional states of others, but never apply the same anchors to themselves. By learning to anchor your own emotional states you will have a better understanding of how those same triggers work on others. Anchors can be anything. Traditional anchoring involves a touch on the shoulder or hand, but actually we can anchor facial gestures, a lean of the body, a certain word. Use anything you want to. It's ok to be creative when using these covert hypnosis techniques.
8. Feel that what you want others to feel.
After you learn to anchor your own emotional states you can put yourself in the same state that you want to elicit in another person. If your outcome is to make another person feel good, but you do not feel good because you are stressed out about other issues, you probably will not get very far. A person's unconscious mind picks out every facial expression, every minute detail of body language. Learn the art of self-hypnosis. If you cannot get excited about the product you are selling, how can you expect someone else to?
9. Practice tonality with yourself.
I have plenty of hypnosis CDs by other hypnotists. Some of them are really wonderful, some of them need to thrown in the trash. The deciding factor is 9 out of 10 times, tonality. If you are being told to relax, but the pace of speech is fast and jittery, and the voice is uneven and high-pitched, you mostly like will become uneasy and nervous. Learn to slow down and draw out your words. Drop the pitch of your voice and learn how to turn tag questions into commands.
10. Keep a journal.
Make sure you write an entry in a journal every day. Include every thing you tried out during the course of the day. Write down what did work and what did not work. After you have written for a few months look for common themes your unconscious mind may be communicating to you. When you feel down because you are not sure if this covert hypnosis mumbo jumbo is working or not, review your journal. You will be surprised how far you have come along.
About the Author
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Allen Parks helps people to learn techniques of meditation, conversational hypnosis, persuasion and metaphor in order to increase the quality of their lives. Read more about these topics at his website covertmetaphor.com
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